|
Yeah, so I have a name. What's it to you?
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|
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| I still don't know enough about you |
[10 Nov 2009|11:08pm] |
I still don’t know enough about you Lately my dreams don't make any sense Like beautiful mad libs with so many blanks There’s a yearning to fill them in for, I’m not moving fast but my heart’s exploding through my chest One million beats at the sound of your voice One million more on every word you say I know it’s not a race but I’m speeding up my pace One million miles to the finishing line One million more to see your pretty face You must know that in my place, I don’t close my eyes I keep every step in stride But something in my mind Says I still don’t know enough about you I’m falling way too fast When so little time has passed Let’s go somewhere, relax So I can know so much more about you I’m not romantic but I’ve been screaming out my lungs One million notes about loving your eyes One million more to carry all the way South this border to the beautiful town you live in Down to the streets they are calling out your name By your window as you wake up to the world I confess while I’ve been longing, I don’t close my eyes I keep every step in stride But something in my mind Says I still don’t know enough about you I’m falling way too fast When so little time has passed Let’s go somewhere, relax So I can know so much more about you Lately my dreams don't make any sense Like beautiful mad libs with so many blanks Please won’t you help me fill them in?
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(Do you truly care?)
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| OCTOPUS? |
[10 Nov 2009|04:58pm] |
|
[written in 8th grade] I look in a mirror and what do I see? I’m an octopus But how can that be? My stomach is where my brain should be Eight legs instead of two and OH! Instead of breathing oxygen I’m breathing H2O. My long tentacles Squeeze around my prey Squeezing every little thing standing in my way I wish I was my reflection But I know it isn’t me Instead of having one broken heart I have hearts of three.
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| A night of romance. |
[10 Nov 2009|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mozart |
] |
Your eyes shinning as bright and lovely as the stars in the sky. Your cheeks blushing as red as the rose you hold in your hand. Your movements as we begin to dance are as graceful as a flower swaying in the breeze. Your laughter, oh what a beautiful sound,for it sounds as sweet as angels singing in heaven. Your smile so delicate is as beautiful as a harvest moon. Your caress, oh how soft it is, so soft it feels as if it were silk.
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(Do you truly care?)
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|
[10 Nov 2009|11:24pm] |
He looks at me as if I'm the only girl in the room, And for a moment I forgot, And when he looks at some other girl that way, I'm reminded that I'm not.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Sinneslust |
[10 Nov 2009|04:46pm] |
She wanted a new mask, one less translucent. Her friends started noticing the horns on her head, the little devil's tail swinging on her heels and the smell of repent. If the drugs didn't kill her the side effects will.
She needed the new sins scented all over her, needing to taste this beautiful tragedy. A deep inhale will make her fly. Having her wings ripped from the seam is much worst than dying.
Her allure is so contagious. With diseased eyes and a wicked tongue she watches as you fall and samples as you cum.
Taking you down where baptize drown the young. She is one of the fallen, and if she must go under she will take you with her in the long run.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| "STFU" in Poetry Form... |
[10 Nov 2009|01:38pm] |
Here is this llama, named aptly, 'Lil Drama. Would you like to go for a ride? 'Cause when you have gumption to make whiny assumptions, You surely belong astride! And llamas, they spit! So please don't forget to be informed before you're snide.
Silly little verse I wrote on a whim, to hush people who were complaining over nothing. It effectively killed the thread; 10 points for me!
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Happiness is |
[10 Nov 2009|02:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Happy |
] |
Getting a message from a good friend that starts with like this:
"Oh B, if only I could bottle your cuteness and sell it. I would make millions."
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(Do you truly care?)
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| never is too long |
[10 Nov 2009|08:34am] |
if you do not hold me and tell me everything will be allright i will live if i do not hold you and whisper 'i can heal you' (even though i cannot but i would whisper it anyway) you will live if we never see each other in the glare of daylight in a drench of rain in an embrace of moonlight or in complete darkness so that we only know each other by touch touching inside, all the outside and inside again touching that brings out our sorrows, our lusts, our peace, our joy even though that's not -even close- to the feeling i have when i think of you if we never find out everything about each other or even any more than we already (pretend) we know we will live but it would be too bad. if we never.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Auf Wiedersehen |
[10 Nov 2009|05:27pm] |
We were drinking from red plastic cups when you took off my mask and kissed me. Later you would say you never really knew me. The speakers were crying happy music again and the air smelled of sex and cigarettes and lost teenage dreams. We sought revelation in the bottle of Smirnoff I got of the boy dressed in the bunny suit. You followed me upstairs and told me you´ll never come back here after tonight. You took the liquor off me and we danced to Lynard Skynard´s "Free Bird" and laughed about our shattered lives. We locked eyes one last time before you disappeared into the fairy lights. I sang "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and looked out of the kitchen window until sunrise...
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Lover's Game |
[10 Nov 2009|02:44pm] |
I met a sweetheart in the early afternoon Someone made of sugared poker cards and rain We sat like the owl and the kitty cat under the moon and pretended to be half sane.
When the sky ignited once again, I realised I probably have fallen into the first sight trap; the one where I think of you, only you, always
From that day on I became obsessed and I must admit, I let you win every game just so you'd play again.
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(4 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Primal World |
[10 Nov 2009|02:40pm] |
Very different from the things i usually write..
It seems to me everything is simple we, the decaying race are egoistic to think any of this matters. War and famine and love don't matter; The universe and God don't matter. I am a super-evolved monkey and this is my rock flying through nowhere. Now what could be more divine than that?
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Languor |
[10 Nov 2009|09:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
He'd sleep in your bed though you cannot rest, For you'll hold intercourse; you will restate New theories that enlighten: you're caressed By salient words that add to your debate; You do not need to know how he is feeling Or toss and turn: sensing time is stealing Towards a point where conversation ceases: Limbs are tangled as passion's release is Cajoled by straying hands, which entertain And do arouse a certain warmth in one Whose languor isn't restful; it's begun To make you anxious; and so you remain Aloof, although your fingers would so test Him in this place of sleep where you can't rest.
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Eat |
[09 Nov 2009|10:57pm] |
Pocket sized idols in paper or plastic Collect and trade them all! Have more than your friends Encourage them to have as much as you Just barely! Then they can still buy you lunch And won’t hound you next week Did you have breakfast? The most important meal of the day Is champagne brunch at the Ramada downtown Let’s park in the hotel Because those people don’t need a hand out Just a hand up NOT MY HAND!
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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|
[10 Nov 2009|12:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
Happiness is being held in a tight embrace in a room lit only by candle light and the moon, while being told your everything he's ever wanted.
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Silence Is So Loud |
[09 Nov 2009|09:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
guilty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Death Cab For Cutie-I Will Follow You Into The Dark.mp3 |
] |
Everything that is yours, is his If you only knew your heart would break just from seeing
To witness something so sweet and innocent Better than either of us could have ever dreamed you would understand why I weep in pure anguish
I think he represents something profound something I need to discover but the silence is so loud
He grips with a force; arms clenching my waist I lift his head to look at me and the eyes say what we never could fully express
Please, I beg.. Please. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. but the silence is so loud.
Open mouth with no sounds. Open hearts bleeding profusely I'll never, ever.. leave you
He shows me 5 fingers and the protector in me grabs his hand looks at both sides then releases reluctantly
Are you hurting? Please, speak.. He holds my face. He loves me more than anyone
I clench him tighter, hold closer I can't explain..only that I can feel his heart beating in my own
The silence is so loud I wake as empty as the night before Looking at my hand..5 little fingers still pressed so deeply.
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(7 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| WHO AM I? |
[10 Nov 2009|12:29am] |
I am black but i am white I am the yin and the yang i am the light and the dark i am everything and i am nothing i am unbreakable but i am broken i am early but still i'm late i am the head and the tail i am the face NOT the mask
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(Do you truly care?)
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| The Brink |
[09 Nov 2009|04:22pm] |
|
My mind is on the brink My body starts to sink Because it's too late To get rid of my brain's weight
I've studied all day long Determined; strong I look at the clock Debating whether to continue or stop
Time is wearing thin Trying to keep my eyes open Paper after paper, word after word This much memorizing is absurd
Abbreviations and codes If i spend one more minute on studying I'll definitely explode!
Too much info to contain Who knew studying caused pain? I can no longer think My mind is on the brink
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| finally |
[09 Nov 2009|01:55pm] |
its as if i've woken from a dream finally, the sun has come out, my grief put to rest i stare out the window at the rain and realize i've never truly seen its beauty never listened to it tap against the foggy class before each drop promising return i'm running through a field with grass up to my waist and freedom is running through my veins empowering my soul and you are dancing in circles around me making me acknowledge my long forgotten beauty you pulled my from the sea and breathed the life back into me so many days i've waited for you and now i am finally home
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(Do you truly care?)
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|
[09 Nov 2009|09:34pm] |
When I loved you and clung to you and treasured the memories it felt you had gifted me with, All the inviting and yearning and disgusting, fractious hope I courted in your name I made sure that I could never drive you out. I essentially tattooed your name, your face and smell on my soul So willingly, and now I will never feel nothing for you. However. I'm happy, cautiously, daintily happy and it's getting brighter every day. I've been worrying about not being free of you (so unfair to him) But at last I think I have worked the last of the poison out. My love for you warms me, still, but the pain is gone. I feel healthy, love, at last Finally a goodbye I can bear to say with conviction. It's been a blast, I wish you well. My glorious past.
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(Do you truly care?)
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| what. what do you want. |
[09 Nov 2009|12:52pm] |
constantly CONSTANTLY who would ever, EVER, be around this THIS all the time why WHY would you want this? my teeth hurt fuck my teeth hurt I'm falling apart but what else is new? nothing's new. everything's washed up and old tired and shitty so fucking shitty I may think my life's fucking horrible but really... it's really not. it's just me. I can't see the good in it. "it's not you, it's me" 20/20 vision ain't something I got. it's me really. but you only know what you have and what you don't have well that's none of your business you'll always want what you don't have and you only want it because you don't have it pathetic. we're pathetic creatures. fucking sad. I'm just tired of me tired of being me or thinking my thoughts seeing my life fly by on the 101 back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and 80 mph, 90 mph, tree smoke crack the window forest fires if you know what I mean stop time first, then go back now try again forget I had problems forget I thought about fixing any problems no problems to fix waking up on the wrong side of the bed every morning, afternoon, and night waking up exhausted, did I sleep? of course I did psych myself into it like it'll help some procrastinate and waste life harder than usual this way feeling rebellious fuck productivity I'm a time waster for FUN.
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Forgive Me |
[09 Nov 2009|02:05pm] |
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Forgive me
All the wrongs that do Forgive me All the pain I put you through Constant yelling, I screamed You wanted to help me It wasn't what it seemed Tried to pull me out I'm sorry I scream, I shout
You shoved food Down my throat I hated you Watched you gloat Yet you never did Realtiy Behind my back, I hid It was my own lie Created in my head Only God knows why
Forgive me My life you tried to save You knew I had become My own slave You prayed Wished it was me, not you That had stayed
You watched me Skip meals, take another pill I'm sorry you had to see Me fall ill
Watch me trip Another pound Watch me slip Nothing you could do Watch me die All that was left, was you
Thin as a rail You thought As a father, you failed Forgive me It wasn't you You did all That you could do One of the many reasons I love you
My father, my dad I'm sorry I never meant to turn out so bad A mistake at birth Forgive me Can't you see?
A knife, I dug into my skin You took me to the hospital Forgive me of my sin You tried to make me smile With that silly grin Dripping off my palm Blood everywhere While you stayed calm I was numb, In shock Another smile for me On the shelf, you stocked
They took me away I know you remember This very day Forgive me All the wrongs that I do Forgive me The pain I put you through
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Satan's Angel |
[09 Nov 2009|02:03pm] |
|
Sparkles whirled, gliding through the air
Caressing her skin so fair Vanilla sugar scent Shine reflected off the Sun, bent The pleasurable aroma Carried, then dropped me Into a devine coma
My angel appeared Calm, sincere Classic melody surrounds Jumping musical notes Abound
A light beamed Luminosity, too bright Serenity- to utter fear My lip, I bite My angel appeared Beautiful, crystal clear Yet this stranger, Shall I revere?
Pure. Whiter than snow Quickly breezed by -A black crow She sweetly smiles Evil or good? The latter, I wish I understood
Follow her or leave? Wishing for her innocence Let me recieve Descended from Heaven Befriending my God Or residing in Hell Hidden by this facade?
My angel Held out a ruby red jewel In my heart, it was embedded Softly sewn into my skin She threaded
She let out a sigh of peace Special offering on the altar My sins Shall be released Eyes closed, yet fully aware Sensing the black crow ..Soaring through the air
Veils start leaking Oil tank running out of fuel A twisted dream? A Godly angel so cruel
Perfect, raw jewel she embedded Transparent arms thrown A flash, and the crow was beheaded
Cranked the jewel Turned it clockwise A swarm of dust Rotting dead flies
Pull out my heart Torture The Devil angel's beautiful art Rudy red jewel No longer embedded My own heart, torn out and shredded
Vanilla sugar scent Purity, sinless so fake In Satan's orders You partake
"Hello lovely Michelle. I grant you this moment To bid your farewell Goodbye to the World."
...I'm dragging you to Hell.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| say "Hello" to Humpty Dumpty for me... I´ll forget... |
[09 Nov 2009|03:05pm] |
I puke rainbows and walk on clouds of cotton candy. The Cheshire Cat smiles at me from behind the curtain and by the time I meet Tusko the elephant he tells me the 297 milligrams were too much and that the world has stopped spinning for him. I cry red tears and let them run down my wrists. You hand me another ticket to my sanctuary and I hastily swallow it. I see music in colours and waves crawling up my legs, into my stomache, into my heart warming it a little. It´s always so cold. We are holding hands on our way to the daffodil field and when we pass the yellow lemon tree you tell me about Birmingham by night. When we walk by Gua the chimp she tells us that Little Albert doesn´t like rats anymore and it upsets us. You hug me and tell me, that Timmy never once fell down a well.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Goodbye |
[09 Nov 2009|09:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
Goodbye. These times I’ve spent with you are in my memories I’m not sorry for the “heartache” I’ve caused you But I am sorry for the cash and time you’ve wasted And to think you believed that in time, I’d love you back. Ha-ha. Your stupidity has made me laugh all these time. Don’t get me wrong But, did you really think we’d last forever? Even you yourself didn’t believe in “Happily-ever-after” How much more “forever”? Oh, I see, you did believe in “forever” Forever as in eternal Eternal pain, suffering and that crock of shit Ha-ha. What a big piece of crap you believed. Oh, don’t get me wrong All these “ha-ha’s” are just written in ink No need to get pissed and act like a bitch It’s just a made-up “poem” I might say But I’m afraid it’s not just a made-up poem It’s real. It’s true. Its even bears the truth. The whole and painful truth. Remember what I said before? “Goodbye.” Yeah, that’s it. So now, I’m saying it back. GOODBYE. “Those three words are said TOO MUCH, THEY’RE NOT enough.” -Snow Patrol. P.S.: I’ll pay you back every cent you spent for me, but it’d take me three years to pay you back full. So… if I were you, I would be patient.
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(Do you truly care?)
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| dream for another world |
[09 Nov 2009|07:58pm] |
as days passed like no other i start to wonder my existence i bear to live here no further yet i survived with persistence
as i fell from great heights of happiness yet i uearned for love of a man man that filled the last jigsaw of loveliness a love from a special man
as he could only love me like no other i dream for another world for me one that has no other
answer my call oh my beloved destiny fulfill this for loveless me bless me with love that i deserved and not fulfill me with a man with deceive
love me my star love me from far all i want i love nothing but the word above
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(Do you truly care?)
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|
[08 Nov 2009|11:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
i suppose an introduction is due. asl - 18 (although internally, only 5), female, somewhere between reality and making pancakes on rainy mornings. sometimes i write too much for my own good, but even then i can never get enough on paper. i don't like sleeping, but i need it. i often forget that food has flavour, and i am best, i think, at lying to myself. i'm trying to fix that though. ah. and my first name is pronounced 'Arlynne'. ----- repost from linebyline Love makes my heart Beat itself to nothing. The zipper at my side, I pull down And Behind shattered ribs, I rummage For its remnants after I explored A world called 'You'.
When it was finished, I realized I never made it out alive.
♥
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Left; Lonely and Miserable |
[08 Nov 2009|09:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ane Brun - The Puzzle |
] |
Powder pink lips with eternal cooling for my hot cheeks Give me that one eternal gift as we lay under a broken tree, Broken from our shadows that let us run it down Brisk mornings alone at the kitchen table eating dry eggs Lonely and starved from lack of nutrition and your love My skin wishes to be marbled with your touch But you leave me here with a limp cigarette Old eggs and tobacco is all I can taste Oh how I long to be tasting cinnamon and sugar, for that is what your neck leaves my tongue tasting like Purity exists beneath the little pink folds on your ivory elbows Admiration is the only word I can use to describe your soul But now all you leave me with is aches and wishes that will never be fulfilled and only dwelled on
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(Do you truly care?)
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| Fuck the Future |
[08 Nov 2009|08:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Amelie - Someday we'll Turn to Dust |
] |
What a drag this is sitting in an empty alley Lying on my back watching air zoom by my faded black hair I wonder when you will be here and where you are right now Knowing that you will never pass dares to faze me Holding my palms out; bare and pure for the birds to see Wishing to live somewhere that isn’t here Jesus Christ I sound like a fucking cliché bitch Who gives a fuck when you live day by day waiting for a hopeless dream? All I can do is ramble and mumble Apathetic towards my work like an ungrateful asshole My eyes play with the murals on the walls A mural of a woman baking, how irrelevant this is to me But who am I? I have no particular talent; all I can do is obsess over a lover who will never lay by me I can see my future; me watching a good friend heating a spoon as I judge while rolling a joint I aint going anywhere, hopes and fantasies do not exist when referring to me What a pathetic morsel I am Devoting my life to useless words and useless love
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(Do you truly care?)
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| I love fruit and washing the hands. |
[08 Nov 2009|10:49pm] |
Those men In red Apple orchards (Cut with the Scent of wood And visual Greyness of Voluminous sky) Rhyming about Security and The distress Of distance And isolation Told me something My friends Mocked me for.
Sharing such A secret Would make Us friends, So I can't tell.
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| everything will be alright |
[08 Nov 2009|05:52pm] |
i was on the brink of suicide that night for hours i sat wrote and cried apologizing for the harm i would inflict sobbing for my siblings weddings i would miss i started by tieing wires finding the hook we used for a hammock long ago securing everything pushing the bed across for a stool standing to see how my last breathe would feel not pausing for a moment between sobs to deal then i got off the bed and just kneeled thanking God for all the parts of my life that were filled realizing how wonderful love could once make life surreal praying for a miracle to save my soul focusing on the salvation that little kids see as heaven the clouds the angels, everything so perfect regardless of race or religion i know we all dreamed it so to me its as true and pure as the beliefs of a child i fell and hit hard i felt my feet swinging together back and forth with slight force like the swingset with a loving parent pushing back and forth comfort soothing force i felt forgiven and somehow loved even though it was impossible in that moment i prayed harder when i doubted in higher power when everything was crumbling beneath my feet i prayed harder realizing i could still feel the tears i just cried harder my door was locked the key tossed and all alone with only the noose in my hand i felt the phone ring you did not know what was just happening merely wanted to speak with me guardian angel i thank you and yet at that moment you thanked me for saving you i was so very confused how much more god sent could you be? -C
this may not make much sense but truely i have to thank him someway even if he cant see it thanks for saving me maybe someday i will be able to tell him
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Void |
[09 Nov 2009|04:27pm] |
I feel it burning deep in me This, this feeling that hurts inside of me.
This intangible mess.
I can't control it.
I'm.A.Mess.
My insides feel like they're being tugged at. Everything hurts. And I just want to cut, I want to see blood. Anything to make the pain within me go away.
I can't cry.
I.Can't.Cry.
I am literally incapable of producing tear-drops anymore. It's like my tear ducts have been taped shut.
I guess you become desensitized of all emotion When your rock almost passes, the one person that took care of you your whole life. And ends up in the hospital for one month.
It's the cherry on top of my complicated, messed up life.
I am nineteen, but I have more life experience than some 50 year-olds.
And I am completely void of all emotion.
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(3 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Not the movies |
[08 Nov 2009|07:23pm] |
Not the movies Knock knock la-la-logic, are you home? If so, why'd you leave your old friend alone With all the stupid boys who make some noise and lack a lot of substance Like hey baby is their opening line Followed by bla bla you're looking so fine Translation-can I fuck you even though I know nothing about you It's not the movies and your new bad boy ain't Heath Ledger It doesn't move me how you hate exactly ten things about him He'll never change and he'll never sing I love you baby Tap tap, those boys wanna tap some ass If you ask, they will say it's not like that Do you think they really love you when the one thing that they're thinking of Is bang bang, gonna tell all my friends Knock her up for a romantic end I'll land a deal with TLC when my young wife pops out twelve babies It's not the movies and your new bad boy ain't Heath Ledger It doesn't move me how you hate exactly ten things about him He'll never change and he'll never sing I love you baby Bang, bang then tell all his friends Oh look, you're making excuses again Tap, tap then it's TLC He's the man you want raising babies Pack, pack it's his cue to leave You scream oh my fucking god why did he leave You close the door, begin the cycle again It never ends, never ends It's not the movies and your new bad boy ain't Heath Ledger It doesn't move me how you hate exactly ten things about him He'll never change and he'll never sing I love you baby
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(Do you truly care?)
|
| A menagerie of poetry. |
[08 Nov 2009|10:21pm] |
|
Hi all, amateur poet here who feels the need to introduce herself before sending anyone to read my poetry, so I shall try to wrap it up in a few lines - I'm about as amateur as they come, I think the last thing I wrote was back in school when you had to write those cheesy limericks. Consequently, I've maintained a view over the years that poetry at present consists of teenage-ridden angst. However, after reading and analysing T.S Eliot's work, I've been enlightened in ways that are far too extensive to discuss here, and he's inspired me to have a bash at my own verse (or lack of it). Despite my inexperience, I don't think I did too badly. That said, I don't expect heavy-duty concrit, all I ask is that you read and enjoy. :)
You can find all the poetry that I've done lately here on my journal
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(Do you truly care?)
|
| utopia |
[08 Nov 2009|11:04pm] |
sometimes i wish there was an insect that likes to suck the fat off my hips and sting until i would finally be able to control this obsession, with food. like when i nearly lose control and you push me hard up against a wall, without mercy and afterwards are shocked that you did. your eyes betray how you don’t understand my willingness to let you, or, me taking a liking to the fact that you did.
my dream always ends right where the realization dawns and shows up on your face oh how i wish it was truly in your nature to push and push and push me until i would lose control and cry and cry out and live.
but i’m looking for solutions in wrong or utopian places and every time i wake up i merely see your serene face staring back at me and i don’t need to look underneath the covers to realize how i wish i wasn’t
hungry
today.
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(Do you truly care?)
|
|
[08 Nov 2009|11:11pm] |
What's with that stone you're holding? What's wrong with you staring at me? What's up with that feeling of pointing Your finger, which number is three?
You see, there're no tricks to hide, There's nothing else to conseal, Just choose your real side, Just break(though a little bit) free.
Don't tell me that you are a different one Dont' be a dumb rebel seed, You think it's gonna be fun, 'cause your rebel is nothing but weed.
So what is the point? Don't petend a messiah 'cause system and you like David and Goliath
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(Do you truly care?)
|
|
[08 Nov 2009|11:02am] |
|
I don't even have the will left to play hide & go seek with death anymore I think i'll just wait here a while
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(Do you truly care?)
|
| Questions for Myself to Answer |
[07 Nov 2009|09:11pm] |
Heating up into tight balls of rage that are afraid to break free. Shaking hands, legs, feet. When will this life of yours ever be complete?
Feeling incompetent emotions that swirl, glide, and run down your spine. It's like ice sliding in your mind. Will you ever make it in time?
Showing a smile and a wink to the confused faces that surround. There's no one of understanding in this town. Will you ever be found?
Fading into nothingness, the light becomes bright and shines again. You're just waiting for your life to begin. Think: Without Him, you'll never win.
Telling yourself that you're stronger, brighter than the rest. This is just a difficult test. Will you forever be mediocre, or will you be the best?
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(Do you truly care?)
|
| UNDERSTAND ME |
[06 Nov 2009|10:50pm] |
I tried to tell them
I'm going through so much
It's like they're just brushing me off
You play it tough and that's never enough
Guess they don't understand what they don't know
God, please free my soul
I'm under everyone else's control but my own
my skin is as hard as a rock and a stone
Crying is not a sign of victory
crying is my way to show my dignity
I'm just letting you know before you go
No one knows what they don't know
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(3 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| 12 |
[06 Nov 2009|08:49pm] |
I am the enormous man who eats & eats. I am the boy who pushed himself down the stairs. I am the girl who compromised her beliefs. I am so funny I laugh at my own jokes. I am my own best friend. I am the young man who can’t say no. I am your melted ice. I am the one-woman show. I am as powerful as Medusa. I am the mortician & you look beautiful. I am the cat with five lives left. I am a deflated scarecrow. It is the Fifth of November. Consume: Bonfire toffee & parkin, fireworks shot into the midnight sky, and we hear: “A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy” in the quiet, quiet, quiet. I am Guy Fawkes! Let the canons fly.
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(4 Do |Do you truly care?)
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[06 Nov 2009|06:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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thoughtful |
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Understand? Pah, right. Like you ever could.
Demons, love. Demons. Welcome.
Fight them for me? With me?? Ha! Oh, you're a funny one.
As if you could understand. Why do you want to know? No.
Locked away. Forever. Do you really think I'm going to tell?
I can't even see them; How can you? You can't.
Don't get mad at me. It's true. There's no hope.
Just leave me. Trust me, you don't want this. Garbage.
Broken souls, love. That's all I am. Coagulation of broken souls.
So just stop. Right there. See the line?
Don't cross over. Demons love, Demons. Goodbye.
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| Drops of Sweetness |
[06 Nov 2009|06:07pm] |
Maybe we need little reminders that float down in potpourri glitter of happiness and fuzzy strand feathers of comfort- those moments of smiles that wrap you up like a piece of tin foil ready to hold every weakness in its sturdy shiny silver, and those insignificant gestures that cradle your skin like a blanket of warmth hovering over your soul to capture away the darkness holding on with every scratch of dismay. Inside a quilt of arms like a book of words behind a silent understanding- there is need to feel as if the world has stopped on its angle just for you and the sun has broken through bricks of clouds to light up your eyes once again, before another day of rain blackens and tarnishes the parts we've learned to only give away. ©-MM-11/6/09
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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[06 Nov 2009|09:36am] |
winter night
i need another blanket tonight. the furnace is turned off so my lover can cool down in his study, he gets fevers when he writes; i am under 2 blankets ear pressed to the pillow, blankets lipping my neck. it is cold, in this house where we live now, the house my grandmother and grandfather built the room where we sleep, their room, added on when my mother was born. after my grandfather died my grandmother shut up the big room with the big bed, went to sleep in the smaller room, alone. my grandmother is dying now. we brought a blanket to her room, 154, where she dozed, wrapped up in hospital attire, in the divan they provided her; we tucked the blanket around her, made jokes about cocoons, and she fell asleep again and again. the temperature has dropped, tonight. i am cold. i know my grandmother is cold; i hope they put her red robe round her like we asked. i pull the blanket to my moustache-line, warmer but not warmed. the cold comes in, searching.
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(1 Do |Do you truly care?)
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| ZOMBIE TAKEOVER |
[06 Nov 2009|06:59am] |
Lack of sleep equals lack of PIZZAZZ
No rest means No creativity
I feel like a stupid and pathetic zombie That has no idea Where it's headed
Desperate for brains Thirsty for a substitute For my restless mind That wanders without destination
Sleep deprivation Destroys the PIZZAZZ of my day I'm only concerned about the Need to close my eyes But I let it eat away at me...
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(Do you truly care?)
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| 23. |
[05 Nov 2009|09:55pm] |
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it’s not like it was when we were growing up now every thing seems so much smaller or may be it's me and i'm scared to admit that we've all just grown so much taller.
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(2 Do |Do you truly care?)
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